So you're probably wondering...

Who is Harry, and why should I care about his clothes?

First off, I'm not Harry...

And I'm not talking about his clothing...

Cue the backstory...

When I was in university, I was in a fraternity (actually, I'm technically still in it)...

When you get initiated into a fraternity, you are given a nickname that will be attached to you forever, unless you do something before you graduate that necessitates a nickname change...

If you don't know what I'm talking about, stop reading and go rent Animal House, then come back after you've watched it...

When I first got in, my nickname was 'GI Joe', because I was volunteering with army cadets once a week and the occasional weekend, so it seemed rather apropos. Other guys received various names that seemed, and in most cases were, completely arbitrary. We had a guy nicknamed 'Cabbage' for no particular reason whatsoever...

Another guy was given the moniker 'Jabroni', just because they wanted to give it to somebody (the WWF was very popular at the time, especially in my fraternity), and he happened to be the one sitting there when the name came up. Over the years he has proven that this was destiny, with one bone-headed action or comment after another. He actually once had a sorority girl refer to him by his first name, followed by 'Jabroni', as she thought that was his actual last name, since we called him by his nickname so often...

There are a few reasons that a nickname could get changed (and this isn't just something guys keep in their memory, the nickname goes down in a big book). You could do something rather profound, like when one of my brothers ran around a neighbourhood waking people up after a house caught fire and got branded 'Mighty Mouse'. You could do something really stupid or humiliating, which I will address in regards to myself shortly (I pulled off one of each). Or people could just get bored with the nickname you have and feel that it needs to be changed, which is where Harry's Clothes comes in...

My first year in the fraternity, which was located right across the street from the university, I lived about 20 minutes from campus. So when I was between classes I'd go over to the fraternity house and sit and watch television and hang out with the guys that were there. At which point I garnered a bit of a reputation. Somebody would come in and ask where somebody else was, and I'd always know (due at least in part to my photographic memory, I suppose). So the joke in the house was that if you were looking for somebody, just find me, as I'd be somewhere in the house...

At the same time, one of the guy's living in the house (Harry), seemed to have a tendency to leave his wardrobe all over the place. He'd do laundry and would leave his stuff in the dryer, so the next person would take it out and put it on top. He'd come in from class and throw his jacket or sweater on the couch in the living room. He'd have a shower and leave his dirty clothes in the bathroom...

At a meeting one week, the fraternity vice president decided that I needed a new nickname and he was looking around the room for an idea when he spotted a pile of Harry's clothes on top of the dryer through the laundry room doorway. And then it dawned on him...

I was Harry's Clothes... You could always find me all over the house...

Of course, that nickname didn't last forever. The following year I pulled a bit of a bonehead move and congratulated a brother on becoming engaged in front of the entire chapter... before he had a chance to tell everyone...

Sometime in the next month or so, I also spilled the beans to the entire chapter about an alumni brother's wife having a baby, while he was also in the room...

Which led to 'Stealing Thunder'...

If only it had stayed that way...

Two meetings before graduating (at which point your official nickname can no longer be changed), a couple of my pledge class brothers decided that I had become a little too attached to my nickname, and I needed something more humiliating...

Now, at the time, I was not exactly known as a graceful dancer... So they decided that I would become... 'Elaine Benis'...

The following week, at my final meeting, one brother stood up and proposed to change my name, the mere notion of which recieved a resounding chorus of boos, and a bit of a hopeful grin on my face...

"I propose a name change from 'Elaine Benis' to..." (more boos)... "'Elaine Benis'" (outrageous cheering and laughter)...

Which is what I'm now stuck with for life...

But at least my nickname's not 'Jabroni'...